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Are you an Artist or Change Maker and also a mom? Or are you feeling the urge to have children, and wondering if it’s possible to follow your calling and be a mom at the same time? If so, you are not alone. I had those exact same questions.

I’d like to share with you a quick story of my journey becoming a successful artist, a change maker, and mom who is proud of how she parents.

It was only about a year after I left my day job to become a full-time artist that Shon and I decided to try and have a child. I wanted a child so much, yet I was filled with uncertainty. My career as an artist was just taking off, and I’d seen many friends put down their art supplies after having a child. I looked for examples of moms who were successful artists and was discouraged by what I found. Even so, I opened myself to the possibility of a child and became pregnant not long after.

While writing this article, I found a blog piece I wrote when my daughter was 6-weeks old. My intention at the time was to start an artist mama blog, to inspire and connect with other artists who were also moms. I wrote just one entry and never published it, because, well, having a baby is often all consuming. This is what I wrote:

10/5/2016

We awoke, we nursed, we cuddled, we nursed some more. Somehow I managed to eat breakfast, have coffee, and brush my teeth. Oh wait, that was because my mom is here.

Seren is 6 weeks old. It’s been a magical, heart opening time, filled with so much love and wonder, and so many challenges.

Last night was a challenge. Seren fussed for a couple of hours, then went into all out screaming. I could get her to calm down for a bit, maybe nurse, sometimes fall asleep, but she wouldn’t stay asleep and would immediately begin to scream once she awoke. Some of the things we did: bounced on the yoga ball, nursed, changed positions, sang songs, walked around outside in the dark, swayed, hummed, lay down flat, changed her diaper, changed her diaper and all of her clothes, bounced, bounced, bounced, nursed some more… And finally sleep came.

I need to put in my first art proposal since her birth. It is due next Tuesday. I have no idea how I am going to get it done. Even as I write, which I’ve been doing while bouncing up and down with Seren in the carrier, she is waking up and demanding something different.

I haven’t made art since she was born.

That last line “I haven’t made art since she was born.” hits me hard. Caring for a newborn is HARD! The idea of being a mom and an artist seemed impossible at that time.

When Seren was just a few months old, I was sitting in meditation with Seren sleeping in my lap. It was during a time where it felt like the whole world was falling apart, kind of like it feels right now. I was sitting there and meditating on how, amidst all of the hard things in this world, how could I be the best mama possible? As I sat there with this precious little being in my lap, I received this message: The best thing I can do for her is to stand up for what I believe in and follow my own bliss at the same time.

I heard that message through my entire being. What it meant was that I didn’t get to just be her mom and be with her all the time. That wasn’t what she needed. I needed to go out into the world and show her what it looks like to stand up for what I believe in, while doing what I love. For me, that meant doing the environmental and social justice work that is so needed through the context of collaborative art.

With that crystal clarity, I found ways to continue to do my work, stepping more fully into my role as Artist and Change Maker. As she grew older, her needs changed. Sometimes she would come to work with me, sometimes my mom would visit and help out. We were part of a nanny share for a while, and she went to outdoor preschool. I found ways to do my work and she thrived by having a community of people to support her.

I was still Seren’s primary care-giver, so even though I had some hours dedicated to work, I wasn’t able to work as many hours as artists without kids. I remember times when I felt jealous of artists who could spend all their time on their art practice. I remember feeling like I was getting left behind and would never be able to be as prolific, or make as big of an impact, as those other artists.

But I kept at it. Every year I did more projects—murals, sculptures, collaborative Art in Action Projects. I continued learning and studying on how to be a better facilitator, how to be a better leader, how to be an anti-racist. I practiced my craft and continued learning about climate change and climate justice. I kept making art. I kept growing.

Seren is my biggest helper and my biggest inspiration. She comes out to the studio with me. She helps me paint murals. She helps me to work through my blocks. I remember one day when she was 4...

I was working on a painting in my studio for a collaborative installation. There was something shifting inside of me. I was trying to express it through this painting and I felt stuck. I went to Shon for advice, as I often do. He and Seren were sitting in the hammock in the sun.

I shared that I was feeling stuck. I didn’t know if I should paint the woman or paint the background or scrap the whole idea and start over. It was Seren that answered. She said “Mama, I think you should start with the part you know about, painting the woman. Paint the woman! And then just follow your heart!”

She is such an incredible old soul. She sees right to the heart of things and is the biggest gift in my life.

Even though I couldn’t work as fast as some artists, my résumé and my portfolio have increased tremendously since she was born. I have grown as an artist, as a leader, as a change maker.

I grew in this way not despite having a child, but because I had a child.

Life takes on a different meaning when you have children—a different intensity, a fragility. I want nothing more than to usher in a world where my child, and all children, have the opportunity to not only survive, but thrive.

Seren is now six years old and is in full-day school for the first time. On top of that, Shon and I have switched roles. He is taking a year sabbatical after his cancer journey and is now Seren’s primary caretaker while I work to grow and transform my art practice. This was such a big transition for all of us and we are still adjusting.

Today, my art practice and business are rocking! I had more time the past 6 months to consistently focus on my work than I have in the past 6 years. The growth I am experiencing in my business right now is astounding. My mentorship program is off and running, I’m already scheduling Art in Action Projects for 2024, and people keep writing me into grants and projects. This is possible only because I built relationships, built my practice, and continued laying the groundwork for this while doing the important work of raising a child.

As my art practice grows, so does my child. I miss the slow days of simply being together. Some days I miss her so much. And yet I find myself needing more time to myself. Sometimes I feel guilty about that. But I’ve learned that if I don’t prioritize my own self-care, I can’t be fully present with her when we are together.

It is incredible that as an artist, and a mother, I am able to support my family. I really am living the dream! But I wasn’t prepared for the feelings that came up when I laid out my work plan and projected income for this year, and saw how much was there. I got scared.

I got scared that I won’t be able to live this dream and be present with my child at the same time. The fear is like a boulder between me and my work—between Seren and I.

So, I sink into gratitude. I remind myself that I have a choice as to how I spend my time. That is something that not everyone has. I ask myself this: How can I say a resounding Yes! and level up in the way I am being called to and be present for my child at the same time?

I don’t yet know the answer, but I believe it will show itself. I remind myself that I am not alone—that I get to be in this place of abundance because I surround myself with supportive people, create strong boundaries, ask for and allow help when I need it, and prioritize my self-care.

And I Trust. I Trust my calling. I Trust that I am on the right path. It isn’t easy, but it can be done with ease.

The act of raising children in and of itself is integral to ushering in a better world. If all you have space for in your life right now is raising children and putting food on the table, that is enough. You are enough. You are amazing. Take a moment to pause and know how important this is. Thank you for doing this essential work.

And know this—having a child does not mean that you need to set aside your dreams, set aside the things that give you joy, set aside the work you do as an activist. Having a child can mean a new focus of all those things. A focus that allows you to show your child what it looks like to do your own work, to walk your path fully, with love and creativity, and to put food on the table at the same time.

The path of an Artist and Change Maker is not an easy one. And if you are a mother, it may be even harder, more circuitous, longer. But it may also be more impactful.

If you are a mom and you are being called to create change with your art, thank you. We need you. We need your genius, your brilliance, your nurturing. We need you to step into your calling as an artist. As a mother. As a changemaker.

Artist mamas, I’d love to support you. What do you need the most? What is your biggest challenge in doing the work you are called to? Write it in the comments!